This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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