I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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