Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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