I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Even my vagina gasped.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
