I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
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