ya dads aren't the best wingmen
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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