my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
