That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
