feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
