i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
