You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
