so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You may now shotgun with the bride
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
