i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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