He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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