who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Randomize
