just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
