What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
