He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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