Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
