Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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