ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
