I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
