he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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