god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
