You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
