Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
