I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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