??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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