"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
