I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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