i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
