I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
