Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
