Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
