she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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