i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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