Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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