Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
