okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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