What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
