BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
