I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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