playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
