This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
