Ambien. No doubt about it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
