Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize