a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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