All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
