guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
