I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
