Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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