hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
