I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
do nipples grow back?
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