please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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