Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
