Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize