he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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