she was so not down for the gang bang
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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