He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
