This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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