we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
