can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
