You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
