Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Oh god it's open bar.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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