he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
